I’m the “Mom” friend 

There are the people who like to party, and drink and do crazy outrageous things that could possibly kill you. Those are my friends.  Then there are the people who are introverted, care a little too much, have to supervise and be the protector. That’s me.

I am the “Mom” friend. I always make sure there is enough food. I always make sure that no ones too drunk. If that happens to be the case I make sure someone can take them home safely. I make sure everyone’s having a good time, and that we aren’t disrupting neighbors. I alway make sure people don’t go to wild with putting gasoline on the fire or do something else that could possibly injure themselves in the process. I make it my job to protect everyone. I am always the responsible one.

Now I understand that what I’m about to say is just me complaining. I put the responsibility on myself, and I get that. But hear me out.

I am the party pooper. Well at least I feel that way, my friends always want to have a bonfire and drink while I would much rather just sit at home with two people and watch Netflix. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t mind having bonfires or hanging out with friends.  They always say, “it’s up to you” “I’m not making the decision” “well I don’t want to upset Faith”.

I know they don’t mean anything by saying those things, but it kinda hurts. They don’t want to upset me, which I’m grateful for, but do they honestly expect me to say no? I don’t want to ruin their whole night, I want them to have their fun and get home safe even if that means I am completely miserable 99% of the time.

I love my friends dearly and spending time with them is great, but I am sick of being the responsible one. I just want them to not be completely stupid without having to be supervised. I say that because we all go to different places in the fall, and I can’t just be there. (Yes, it is amazing but I do know that I can’t be there to watch them. )  I don’t want to worry about my friends being complete morons.

When I first had the idea to write this I wasn’t going to complain. I was just gonna talk about what it’s like to be the overbearing friend. Unfortunately, it took a very negative turn. I love caring for my friends and being there in any time of need but being the mom friend sucks. I love myself for who I am, but it would be cool if I didn’t have to be this way all the time.

I love caring for my friends and being there in any time of need. I think because of the person that I am, it makes it harder for me to have fun. I do love myself for who I am, and I do not blame my friends for that. I just wish that they wouldn’t give me so much to worry about.

Disclaimer: I understand that what I mention is illegal but please understand that we aren’t the types of kids to throw house parties or do something as outrageous in the movies. Remember at one point you were a teenager and you probably some pretty stupid and illegal things yourself.

 

How Loss Affected Me

Last week, on the 2nd to be specific it was the 7 year anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. I honestly forgot. Which makes me feel like an awful granddaughter, but that is probably due to the fact it is something I don’t want to think about. Since last Friday I have thought about him a lot, and I feel like writing about it would help me. So please read this while thinking about someone you’ve lost. Remember how much they meant to you and your favorite things about them. But also think about what you gained, though you might not think about you gained something from your loss.

From what I remember he always, ALWAYS smelt of beer and cigars. And not the expensive ones, the thin flavored ones you would buy at the convenient store. He was full of farm stories, which I could sit and listen to for hours. The most memorable one was when he helped birth two twin caves, one of which who did not make it. (Wow such a midwestern story huh?) Maybe not the most amusing story for a child, but it was interesting enough.

I remember him being jolly, like Santa Clause, and giving the best hugs; they were my favorite. If he was still here I would tell him all about high school and tell him my own stories, maybe stretch the details to make them more interesting. We would probably sit and talk in that old white garage for hours. When it was time to go I would take one last hug, and go home smelling of cigar smoke.

I had lost a lot of people before him, but none of them had been this unexpected or this painful. Losing him was the hardest thing I have ever gone through, and I know that’s not much coming from an 18-year-old.  I cried for a few weeks, nothing about going to my grandparent’s house was normal for months, or maybe even a whole year after. He passed away in the living room, in his chair. I couldn’t be in the room alone, I couldn’t sit in the chair.  It hurt me to see my mom, my grandmother, my family like this, there was nothing I could do. There was nothing anyone could do. But losing him gave me strength. If I can get through that, I can get through anything. So Grandpa, thank for showing me what it is like to be so hard-working, jolly and caring. You are my favorite person and I wish you could see me now, I have a feeling you would be immensely proud.

As I said earlier we gain from our losses. By losing him I gained strength. If I can get through that, I can get through anything. I can get through a day at work, I can get through this final paper, I can get through this rough time. I can do it because everything has to be easier than losing someone you love so much.

To my Grandpa, thank for showing me what it is like to be so hard-working, jolly and caring. You are my favorite person and I wish you could see me now, I have a feeling you would be immensely proud. I love you always.

 

 

I don’t Identify as Anything

635898789906799266802044104_politicsI’m talking politics. No, I am not getting into specifics. I will not be sharing my personal views in detail. 

I think in today’s society, especially in America it is very hard to find someone who doesn’t have a very straight opinion, whether that be conservative or liberal. People like what they like, and choose to believe what they believe and that is okay, but I don’t know yet. Which I think is a rarity.

I don’t claim to be a republican or a democrat. I don’t claim to be liberal or conservative. I agree and see the arguments of both parties and I (try to) understand where they are coming from. I like facts, and I like the evidence of it all. I want it all laid out in front of me. I don’t want to just choose someone because the claim to be one party or the other.

I think it is a true blessing to be so….in the middle? I can talk and agree with anyone, or at least understand where they are coming from. And maybe as I grow older and gain more knowledge of the world that will change, but for now I am happy to not identify as anything.

 

Picture: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjJ_OTU6KfUAhXB8YMKHRj_DlcQjRwIBw&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Felection_debate&psig=AFQjCNGGjEs9IrvQOhtsQxjKz16IT5be2g&ust=1496790276839113

“Friends” on Social Media

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Within the last month, I have found myself completely unfriending and unfollowing “friends” social media accounts.

By “friends” I mean people who go to my school, live in my town or even people I’ve seen walking down the street. They really aren’t friends but I find myself becoming interested in their life choices, or really what they choose to post on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

Like I said I’ve started to unfollow people I don’t really care for. By doing this I feel like I am getting away from the negativity, uncontrollable nosiness, and leaving behind people I generally don’t have any interest in. I think it will make me happier, but if it really upsets you here is your answer:

To those who I have unfollowed,

Maybe it was because I don’t like you, but that is okay.  If it really bothers you, I am sorry. I hope one day you can get over it.

Maybe it was because I don’t like what you post. It could be about your opinions, it could be that what you post is always negative. If it makes me upset to see what you constantly post then why should I follow you?

Maybe it is because we aren’t friends. We may just be acquaintances, but that is okay by me. If I really want to get to know you I would take the time out of my day, and not just scroll through your feed of pictures.

There are probably better reasons out there, but I just want to go forward with people I love and with lots of happiness. So please excuse me if I no longer want to be your “Facebook friend”. You keep doing you and I will keep doing me.

 

What I Hope To Learn This Summer 

img_0544I just graduated high school, and before I head off on my own I want to learn somethings about myself and the world.  Here’s a list of what I hope to learn:

  1. How to love myself. 

Don’t get me wrong. I do love myself. I just want to be more appreciative myself and everything I offer.

2.  Live in the moment. 

I only have a few months before I leave my family, friends and my “normal” life of the last 18 years. I want to cherish everything I do with my best friend, my boyfriend, my brother and sisters because there’s the chance I am going to be missing a lot.

3. Become more open to different opinions. 

College is where you meet new people and that means a lot of new opinions. In the world we live in today, everyone has an opinion on everything. I have to remember that just because my opinion isn’t the same as some else’s does not mean that my opinion is wrong, or their’s is any less important. I must have an open mind and be willing to listen rather than answer or defend.

4. Be my own best friend. 

I am going to be leaving everyone I love. My best friend and I are going to different colleges.  My boyfriend is doing his own thing. My parents are letting me go. While I know that they will still be with me in spirit, and only a text message or a phone call away it is going to be different. (Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t me saying I’m not gonna make new friends, it will just be another new experience.) I want to be able to comfort myself and be my own best friend when it’s needed.

5. Learn to let go and be more forgiving. 

I am the worst at letting things go. I hold onto grudges for an incredibly long amount of time. I still don’t like people who have wronged me or my friends. I can forgive people, but even that takes a while, but letting go is a whole different thing to me. It’s gonna be a lot more difficult.  I want to be a better person, a more forgiving person. I already know this isn’t gonna be easy for me, but I am up for anything.

6. What makes me happy.

More or less I want to discover more things about myself. It’s as simple as that.

7. It’s okay to be alone. 

Alone time is great, but I prefer to “be alone, together” type of person. I think it is important for me to learn and appreciate being alone. Being by myself for whatever reason.

Overall I want to know who I am, and better my personal values. Become a better person, and be more welcoming.

Thanks for reading.

 

Introducing Me

Who am I?

As you guessed by the title of my blog My Life As Faith my name is Faith. I live in the Midwest in the land of cheeseheads and I am getting ready to start my journey into the real world. By the “real world” I mean college.  This is the summer of trying new things I am trying to be healthier by eating better and exercising daily (which is a lot easier said than done). So figured I would try blogging as well, so I mean why not?

I enjoy being outside and doing new things, but more than likely you can find me sitting in bed watching Netflix. I love my family and don’t know what I would do without them. They truly are everything to me. This also includes my boyfriend and best friend but I can tell you more about them later.  I enjoy watching conspiracy theory videos and family vloggers on Youtube. Lifestyle bloggers are probably some of my favorites because I think, “hey maybe I can take some tips from them and get my life together” but that really doesn’t work. I think they truly make blogging an art because their lives and opinions just seem so interesting.

I hope someone out here finds me as interesting as I find other lifestyle bloggers.